1. Roll your head back.
2. Relax your shoulders, slowly.
3. Open your hands and spread your fingers.
4. Open your eyes, wide. As wide as you can.
5. Stand there, slack-jawed, taking it all in.
6. Fill your lungs with as much air as possible.
7. Hold it and hold it and hold it.
8. Blow at the world
and watch it crumble
like so much dust
and shit
and spit
and dirt
and sand
and crystal.
Oops.
9. Change relationship status to: ”real simple”.
1. Bang your head against the wall.
2. Slap yourself in the face.
3. Stub your toe on the table.
4. Hit your knee on the fence.
5. Bump your shoulder against a stranger’s shoulder.
6. Headbutt a mirror.
7. Punch your favorite thigh over and over.
8. Record it all and put it online.
9. Wait for the money to come rolling in.
10. Add: “Crazed” OR “Injured” to your own conditions.
1. Close your eyes tight.
2. Sweat profusely.
3. Tighten your shoulders and back.
4. Clench your teeth.
5. Stop.
6. Do it again.
7. Text your “friends”, and ask them for help.
8. Capture them as they step through the door.
9. Report them to your local dietician.
10. Wait for it all to trickle down.
Short Games for Lonely People 