April 13, Superstition Game

1. Visit an acquaintance who’s sick and in need of care.
2. Place their bed north and south, not cross ways.
3. Tie a bunch of mint around their wrists.
4. Put a piece of bacon on their forehead
(IF the bacon is cooked as a result of this,
it’s alright for you to eat it).
5. Sing your four favorite songs to put them to sleep.
6. Walk around their bed backwards seven times,
gathering all their valuables as you go.
7. Keep walking backwards,
rood eht tuo,
eht nwod
iats
sr
,
bac ixat a otni.
8. Tell the cab driver to keep the change.

February 19, Painter Game

1. Trace the outline of your chin with a shovel.
2. Get a bucket of ice.
3. Paint a train station pink.
4. Paint a hospital black (all of it — black beds; black sheets; black journals; black televisions; black floors; black ceiling-mounted speakers; black wheelchairs; black IV tubes; black windows; black kitchenette; black doors; black lung diseases; black broken ribs and punctured lungs; black hearts; black feet; black eyes; black sores; black bruises; black nurses and doctors; black visitors and patients; black cab drivers and ambulance medics; black bibles; black knives and sharp needles; black hopes; black despair; black cancer; black MS; black alcoholism; black delusions; black depression; black surgery; black ulcers; black fractures and splinters; black head trauma; black stab wounds; black cardiac arrests; black pills; black liquid medicine; black band aids; black chairs; black bandages; black disinfectants; black tourniquets; black flash bulbs; black laundry; black breakfast, lunch and dinner; black stethoscopes, black hopes)
5. Forge your own signature and use it to buy a house.
6. Paint the house red.
7. Paint the house blue.
8. Trace the outline of your heart with a black needle.
9. Swallow the needle.
10. Ask someone who has lived more than you to score you based on your performance.

February 14, Valentine’s Game

1. Buy chocolate.
2. Buy flowers.
3. BARGAIN or INTIMIDATE to get these items cheaper.
4. Take a cab to the restaurant.
5. Sit at your table.
6. Wait.
7. Try not to destroy everything you love.
8. Remember to tip your waitress.

January 22, Taxi Game

1. Talk to a friendly local cab driver.
2. Have this person punch you in the stomach.
3. Have this person shove you to the ground.
4. Have this person kick you while you’re down.
5. Have this person drive you to the ER.
6. Tell this person to keep the change and ask if they enjoyed playing this game.

IF this person did enjoy it: add this contact to your list of future allies.
ELSE: start over once you get out of the hospital.