May 9, Lerner Game

1. Make poetry famous.

2. Burn your initials into the sun.

3. Read poetry
from the middle of a burning building,
standing in the fast lane of the freeway
OR
falling from the top of the Empire State Building.

4. Be Richard Speck,
rather than Gary Snyder.

5. Ride a rocketship to hell,
rather than a Volvo to Bolinas.

6. Sell arms to the Martians,
rather than wait sullenly for a letter from some deceased clown with a three-piece mind, telling you that you’ve won a bulletproof pair of rose-colored glasses for your poem ”Autumn in the Spring”.

7. Be hated by everyone
who teaches for a living.

8. Read your poetry and watch people
get headaches, vomit, weep, scream, disappear, start bleeding,
eat their television sets,
beat each other to death with swords,
and go out and get riotously drunk
on someone else’s money

9. Do not bury poetry
or dandle it on your knee like a retarded child
with beautiful eyes.
Instead, blow it up
or throw it off a cliff into icy seas
and see if the the motherfucker
can swim for its life.

10. Buy one of those beautiful
switchblade knives.

April 11, Tabletop Game

1. There is an old school close to where you grew up.
Connecting to your childhood is important,
so go there whenever you sense a storm coming on.
2. You will need equipment.
Add the following items to your inventory:
a sharp knife,
a blunt smile.
3. You should not do this alone.
There will be people there to help you.
Talk to them in a hushed voice.
4. It’s important that you get some sleep.
Lie down on the cold wooden floor
in one of the classrooms.
5. Though it is indeed dark,
you need to get familiar
with your immediate surroundings.
Reach out with your hand
and see if  you can make
the darkness start moving away from you.
6. Whenever you try to remember
a smell,
a hand,
a neck,
a touch,
a sigh,
or gasp,
remind yourself that there is
a pretty good chance that this is all a dream.
7. One of the aspects most lacking
in contemporary society is,
without a doubt, spirituality.
When you wake up,
go straight to the temple
(the temple is in the gym hall).
8. Though we are alone,
hopelessly trapped in our own bodies,
and in experiences devoid of any genuine meaning whatsoever
to anyone but ourselves,
it is nonetheless paramount to foster
a strong sense of community.
Join the singing
and the dancing
and the screaming
and the shouting
and the chanting
and the crying
and the scrying
and the oohing
and the aahing
and the regular rituals
and the sex rituals
and the blood rituals
and the dinner conversation
and the pillow talk
and the funerals
and the weddings
and the telephone recruitment campaigns
and the political rallies
and the violent protests
and the inevitable schisms
and the splinter groups with dubious motives
and the suicide pacts
and the cowards that bail on the suicide pacts
and the people reading strange games online
and the people playing regular games
as part of their quest to fulfill themselves.
9. A hobby will help you stabilize
your rapidly disintegrating psyche,
thus buying you some time
before the complete and violent collapse
of your social (and, in the end, also your biological) life.
Start playing
card games
and board games
and role-playing games
and miniatures games
with people you feel are
EXACTLY
AND
PRECISELY
like you in all things that matter.
10. A flair for the critical evaluation of one’s own efforts
will help build a knowledge of self
that may prove valuable in the workplace.
Score yourself
based on your performance.

February 19, Painter Game

1. Trace the outline of your chin with a shovel.
2. Get a bucket of ice.
3. Paint a train station pink.
4. Paint a hospital black (all of it — black beds; black sheets; black journals; black televisions; black floors; black ceiling-mounted speakers; black wheelchairs; black IV tubes; black windows; black kitchenette; black doors; black lung diseases; black broken ribs and punctured lungs; black hearts; black feet; black eyes; black sores; black bruises; black nurses and doctors; black visitors and patients; black cab drivers and ambulance medics; black bibles; black knives and sharp needles; black hopes; black despair; black cancer; black MS; black alcoholism; black delusions; black depression; black surgery; black ulcers; black fractures and splinters; black head trauma; black stab wounds; black cardiac arrests; black pills; black liquid medicine; black band aids; black chairs; black bandages; black disinfectants; black tourniquets; black flash bulbs; black laundry; black breakfast, lunch and dinner; black stethoscopes, black hopes)
5. Forge your own signature and use it to buy a house.
6. Paint the house red.
7. Paint the house blue.
8. Trace the outline of your heart with a black needle.
9. Swallow the needle.
10. Ask someone who has lived more than you to score you based on your performance.