June 14, Reminder Game

1. Go through your list of phone numbers.
2. Call your least favorite person in that list
at 3 am
on a Monday morning.
3. Using a vocoder, say:
”Hello?”
4. Listen to them respond:
”Hello? Who is this?”
5. Say:
”What do you mean? It’s me. You called me.”
6. Hear them say:
”No… No, you called me. What the fuck do you want?”
7. Laugh:
”Oh, really? You called me in the middle of the night to do what? To argue about who called whom? Really? You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”
8. Hang up.
9. Mutter to yourself:
”Fucking prick.”
10. Raise your FAST TALK skill by 1-5 points.

May 19, Field Game

1. Run into a bank.
2. Shout: “Put your hands up!”
3. Whisper: “For science…
put them up for science.”
4. Count how many hands are put up
5. Write that number down.
6. Run.
7. Score yourself based on how the jury responds
to the following defense:
“For goodness sake, you absolute cretins,
I’m not a criminal! I am a sociologist!
A soooociiioooloooogiiiist, okay?
Do you know what that means?
No! No, you don’t, do you?

April 15, Proprioceptive Game

1. Walk down a train platform during rush hour.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Don’t bump into anyone.
4. Raise your score every time you walk past someone without bumping into them.
5. Upon reaching the end of the platform, compare your score to the amount of steps you took while walking down the platform.
6. Meditate on the relationship between these two numbers for as many years as you see fit.
7. As you get close to death, return to the platform.
8. Play again and compare your two scores to declare one of your selves the winner.

February 9, Mathemagician Game

1. Add up all numbers you can think of
(this could take a while,
depending on your INT score).
2. Split them up and hand them out
to people who are still waiting for theirs.
3. Ask everyone if they can pick a number
between 1 and 39826469.
4. Watch them closely
as you begin to disappear before their very eyes.
5. Multiply your vocabulary size every other year,
making up new words if you have to.
6. Subtract sense for as long as you can hold your breath.
7. Get someone to join you
in walking backwards
through time.
8. Count
me
in.