April 14, Advantage Game

1. Ride around a city of your choice all day. Use only public transportation.
2. Start a staring contest with someone born in another decade.
3. Stick your tongue out to gain an advantage on your opponent.
4. Lightning bolt!
5. Lightning bolt!
6. Lightning bolt!
7aa. IF
they start crying,
declare yourself the winner
7ab. ELSE IF
they shake violently and their eyes seem about to pop,
get out of the way before their head explodes. It will, trust me on this.
7b. ELSE
Sit back down after five minutes.
8. Take off your silly wizard hat.
9. Make the “out of character” sign.
10 (optional). Cry a whole lot.

April 12, Guv Game

1. Work yourself to the point of absolute exhaustion.
2. Keep pushing.
3. Keep pushing.
4. Keep pushing.
5. Stop showing up for work.
6. Start calling yourself “the Governor”.
7a. IF
…any random asshole has the goddamn gall to fucking ask “governor of what?”
tell the dipshit: “governor of this”
and punch their fucking teeth out their ugly facehole..
7b. ELSE
…initiate a staring contest
with the next shitbucket of an idiot you meet
who is also taller than you are.
8. Hate yourself.
9. Die alone.
10. Level up.