February 17, Flower Game

1. Plant machine guns in your backyard.
2. Water them every day using a mix of milk and rum.
3. Carry your children on your back for a whole week straight.
4. Take off your shoes and walk through the garden at night.
5. Repeat step 4 until lush grass starts growing from your chest.
6. Rest your wrists on cold marble.
7. Watch the sun dance and sing.
8. Watch the moon, just in case.
9. Fire your guns only at those who come bearing seeds or flowers.
10. Bring a bouquet of firearms to Thom and he will give you your next objective.

February 4, Panic Game

1. Put very tiny kid to bed without hyperventilating.
2. Sing Lua to make the kid fall asleep.
3. Put slightly less tiny kid to bed without hyperventilating.
4. Sing Lua and GMF to make the kid fall asleep.
5. Wait until you’re sure they are asleep.
6(a). Put on headphones and play Super Hexagon until you’re OK again.
OR
6(b). Play the guitar until you’re OK again.
OR
6(c). Do the pillow thing to make the brain thing shut up.
7. Rest until fully healed.

January 2, Street Game

1. Buy yourself some duct tape.
2. Remove all items from inventory and body tagged as “clothing”.
3. Put duct tape on people.
4. Put duct tape on cars.
5. Put duct tape on dogs.
6. Put duct tape on kids.
7. Put duct tape on yourself.
8. Stay on the street as long as spiritually possible.
9. If you’re the last player to leave, you win.