April 17, Flaneur Game

1. Get up out of bed, it’s 6 pm, dammit!
2. Eat something.
No, not leftover snacks.
What the hell?
3. Put on socks, for chrissake.
This should not take much longer than 10-15 minutes.
4. Put on underwear, seriously.
This should not take much longer than 10-15 minutes.
5. Put on a t-shirt, no one wants to see that.
This should not take much longer than 10-15 minutes.
6. Put on pants, Donald Duck.
This should not take much longer than 10-15 minutes.
7. Put on a sweater, because it’s cold.
This should not take much longer than 10-15 minutes.
8. Put on a jacket, and make it quick(ish)
This should not take much longer than 10-15 minutes.
9. Spend maybe 25-30 minutes looking for music, podcasts, lectures, ambient field recordings, or political speeches to listen to while you walk.
10. Step outside and notice that the sun is down, it’s raining, and you have not got the time nor energy for this shit.
11. Go back inside.
12. You lose,

you loser.

February 17, Flower Game

1. Plant machine guns in your backyard.
2. Water them every day using a mix of milk and rum.
3. Carry your children on your back for a whole week straight.
4. Take off your shoes and walk through the garden at night.
5. Repeat step 4 until lush grass starts growing from your chest.
6. Rest your wrists on cold marble.
7. Watch the sun dance and sing.
8. Watch the moon, just in case.
9. Fire your guns only at those who come bearing seeds or flowers.
10. Bring a bouquet of firearms to Thom and he will give you your next objective.