May 13, Orchid Game

1. Take a deep breath.

2. Let the smell travel through your nose and down

into your sooty and clogged up heart.

3. Wave your flower at passers-by.

4. Speak to no one and nothing but your flower for a month.

5. Chop it up and pour poison on it.

6. Keep it in a jar under your bed until the next full moon.

7. Bury it in your backyard.

8. Dig it up when you’re ready to lose for real.

February 17, Flower Game

1. Plant machine guns in your backyard.
2. Water them every day using a mix of milk and rum.
3. Carry your children on your back for a whole week straight.
4. Take off your shoes and walk through the garden at night.
5. Repeat step 4 until lush grass starts growing from your chest.
6. Rest your wrists on cold marble.
7. Watch the sun dance and sing.
8. Watch the moon, just in case.
9. Fire your guns only at those who come bearing seeds or flowers.
10. Bring a bouquet of firearms to Thom and he will give you your next objective.